I know I only posted about an hour and a half ago but I thought this little tidbit was worth another post. I just got a phone call from someone who sounded like a screech owl in her attempts to insult me. Apparently Jenny can't call herself and confront me, just like she has never ever once been able to confront me about anything. This is the only time a confrontation is warranted, granted, because this is the only time I have ever actually done anything. So one of her friends calls and says that because I fucked with jenny, I fucked with her too. I was like, who is this, because it was a 308 so at first I thought it was Ashley and it was about shit to do with Adam. Anyway, this girl is literally screeching and I'm just like, okay sweetheart, yep, okay keep talking and she pretty much told me I was evil and will never be loved and I am stealing friends from other people. She also said I needed to stay out of stuff that was between other people. Funny thing is, if Jenny had done the same thing and stayed out of the shit with me and Teetz, none of this would be happening, so it looks like the pot is calling the kettle black. I love hypocrites. Now, let's look at the facts:
1. I knew Teetz, and DaveReid for that matter, long before Jenny did.
2. She would not know them if it wasn't for me.
3. Teetz is my best friend here, and regardless of the fact that we were in a huge fight, even when Jenny cracked a lame joke about "being the new Sarah" for him, he said, "No one can replace Sarah".
4. Teetz can't stand her
5. Teetz really can't stand her.
Now, given these facts, I finally decided since he could not tell her he doesn't really want to know her, I would do it for him. He did not object, or he would not have given me the phone number, nor would he have laughed the entire time I was on the phone. Seriously, if he wanted to be friends, don't you think he would have made more of an effort to keep in contact with her? If she has to send her friends to call me and tell me I am evil, so be it, of course I am fucking evil, looks like she missed that memo too. I may be evil, but at least I am honest and up front with people about who I am, and I am not two-faced, a backstabber, or a liar. We'll have to see if the Screech Owl calls back again, I am looking forward to this one.
Showing posts with label Drama Drama Drama. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Drama Drama Drama. Show all posts
Sunday, June 26, 2005
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Hooray for Internet!
Finally, after a week and a half of agony and the creepy Selleck basement computer lab, we now have the internet in our house. Woohoo. I can not quite put into words why I missed Facebook, MSN, or AIM so much but I did. I start my new job at Office Depot tomorrow, I have three days of computer training before I even start out on the floor, but I am just going to be a cashier so I am not too worried about it. Plus, the manager already wants to train me in the copy center so that will be a plus. With my ADHD, it's probably a good thing I won't be doing the same thing all day long. And, the best part is, even if I work on Saturdays, we close at 8, I am out of there by 8:30, and still have time to hit Ground Zero by ten or so.
I talked to Silas tonight, because as usual I am over-thinking about Adam going to Iraq. I just have to remember he is not going to fight, he's going to maintain security, which of course I know there will be times where he will have to fight, but it is not his primary objective. Also, I was told I made his gf have a hissy fit every time I was at the apartment. Apparently at one of the parties back in December, she didn't like the fact that he was talking to me, or had his arm around me, and she just sat there the whole time muttering about how I was a bitch or something. I hope she realizes jealousy and insecurity is definitely not the way to keep Adam, because though most guys in general will not put up with that bullshit, he tolerates it even less. Besides that, if she were ever to tell him he couldn't ever see me, more than likely she'd get the "fuck off" from him, because that's the same thing he would have told Alexis if she had suggested he and I couldn't be friends anymore. I think all parties involved just need to accept the fact that Adam and I are and will remain friends due to the many extenuating circumstances involved in our relationship and that's it, end of story. The Silas thing also leads me to my next point, in regards to the email mentioned in previous posts. I still have gotten no reply by either email or phone in regards to MY response, so I am guessing she didn't like the fact that I wasn't kissing her butt trying to get her back in my life. All I have to say is: Who came back to who?
That's about all for now, I suppose I should get some sleep soon, seeing as how I am starting a new job and have not worked for the last week and have grown accustomed to sleeping until noon or one. I am going to miss the sleeping for 12 hours at a time thing, but hey, sometimes you gotta race.
Night kids.
Days til Teetz is legal: 29
I talked to Silas tonight, because as usual I am over-thinking about Adam going to Iraq. I just have to remember he is not going to fight, he's going to maintain security, which of course I know there will be times where he will have to fight, but it is not his primary objective. Also, I was told I made his gf have a hissy fit every time I was at the apartment. Apparently at one of the parties back in December, she didn't like the fact that he was talking to me, or had his arm around me, and she just sat there the whole time muttering about how I was a bitch or something. I hope she realizes jealousy and insecurity is definitely not the way to keep Adam, because though most guys in general will not put up with that bullshit, he tolerates it even less. Besides that, if she were ever to tell him he couldn't ever see me, more than likely she'd get the "fuck off" from him, because that's the same thing he would have told Alexis if she had suggested he and I couldn't be friends anymore. I think all parties involved just need to accept the fact that Adam and I are and will remain friends due to the many extenuating circumstances involved in our relationship and that's it, end of story. The Silas thing also leads me to my next point, in regards to the email mentioned in previous posts. I still have gotten no reply by either email or phone in regards to MY response, so I am guessing she didn't like the fact that I wasn't kissing her butt trying to get her back in my life. All I have to say is: Who came back to who?
That's about all for now, I suppose I should get some sleep soon, seeing as how I am starting a new job and have not worked for the last week and have grown accustomed to sleeping until noon or one. I am going to miss the sleeping for 12 hours at a time thing, but hey, sometimes you gotta race.
Night kids.
Days til Teetz is legal: 29
Saturday, May 14, 2005
Quick Update
I am in the basement of Selleck typing this right now so it is going to be quick and to the point. We don't have Internet in our apartment until Tuesday so I am forced to drive here just to quench my insatiable need for email and Facebook. The apartment is awesome, Brett and Brian are good roommates, no drama as of yet and I doubt there will be because they are two of the most laid-back guys I have ever known. Also, I changed the settings on my blog so anyone can post a comment, even if you are not a member of Blogspot. I did this originally but I guess somehow it changed because Brett said he tried to leave a comment once but couldn't. Stupid Blogspot. But all is well now and anyone can comment on anything.
Here is the update I know you all have been waiting for: The E-Mail Situation. Finally on Monday I decided what I wanted to say. It was short and simple because I really took time to figure out how I feel about the whole situation and basically I said if she wanted to talk, that was fine with me and we could, though I think she pretty much summed up her feelings on the whole thing at my birthday and then in the following email. I also said she had my number and could call if she wanted because I would be in Lincoln. The end. This was Monday and she has not responded since then, either my email or phone, so I am assuming that was not the response she wanted. I think she was expecting a whole-hearted welcome back kind of thing, which I am not willing to give because I don't think it is necessary. I guess this will be as much closure as can be had in the situation, and I am okay with that because I found out who my real friends are and that's really all anyone can ask for.
I also checked out my grades, read 'em and weep: Social Studies methods - A+; Science Methods - A; Music Methods - A; Biology - A. Not bad if I do say so myself and it's my first semester having a 4.0. Sweet. I am totally going shopping in celebration of me. Maybe Grandpa will give me my Escalade now instead of later. We'll see ;)
Okay, this is bordering on not being so quick of an update now, so I will save the random stuff for later but I will be back to normal after Tuesday when I can check my email any time I want without having to drive to campus. Also, because I am in fucking Selleck on their stupid computers that have ALL pop-ups blocked, I couldn not run spellcheck so I am sure someone will find some error somewhere. Woohoo. Peace out motherfuckers.
Days til Teetz is legal: 32
Here is the update I know you all have been waiting for: The E-Mail Situation. Finally on Monday I decided what I wanted to say. It was short and simple because I really took time to figure out how I feel about the whole situation and basically I said if she wanted to talk, that was fine with me and we could, though I think she pretty much summed up her feelings on the whole thing at my birthday and then in the following email. I also said she had my number and could call if she wanted because I would be in Lincoln. The end. This was Monday and she has not responded since then, either my email or phone, so I am assuming that was not the response she wanted. I think she was expecting a whole-hearted welcome back kind of thing, which I am not willing to give because I don't think it is necessary. I guess this will be as much closure as can be had in the situation, and I am okay with that because I found out who my real friends are and that's really all anyone can ask for.
I also checked out my grades, read 'em and weep: Social Studies methods - A+; Science Methods - A; Music Methods - A; Biology - A. Not bad if I do say so myself and it's my first semester having a 4.0. Sweet. I am totally going shopping in celebration of me. Maybe Grandpa will give me my Escalade now instead of later. We'll see ;)
Okay, this is bordering on not being so quick of an update now, so I will save the random stuff for later but I will be back to normal after Tuesday when I can check my email any time I want without having to drive to campus. Also, because I am in fucking Selleck on their stupid computers that have ALL pop-ups blocked, I couldn not run spellcheck so I am sure someone will find some error somewhere. Woohoo. Peace out motherfuckers.
Days til Teetz is legal: 32
Thursday, May 05, 2005
Closure
Twice I have lost my best friend.
Most of you know who I am talking about and we will leave it at that in terms of her identity just for the sake of being nice. Last fall when she and her boyfriend of nearly four years broke up, our friendship hit a wall, in a roundabout way because of the break-up (silly me for thinking I could be friends with everyone). Then in December when she found out Adam was leaving for Iraq, she struck up conversation again and was there for me when I was dealing with it - for a while.
On my birthday shit hit the fan again when her ex-boyfriend, who is a good friend of mine, was at my birthday and she was there as well. She said some incredibly nasty things and stormed out and I never had a chance to say one word. She knew prior to the event that he would be there, and I even asked that she go to dinner with me one night and he go to the bars another night. That way I could spend time with both of them and not having to worry about a fight starting. This was apparently unreasonable to her and she said fine, she would not come to either. At this point I didn't know what to say and simply told her if she chose to come, I did not want any drama, as I am trying to remain neutral and be friends with both parties. Obviously this did not work out, as we have not spoken since she left my birthday party. That night she sent me a not-so-nice email basically outlining why I was an awful friend, and went so far as to accuse me of having ulterior motives for being friends with her ex. This was very hurtful, considering she was my first college friend ever and one I considered to be among the best of the best friends I have ever had.
Here's the kicker: today, her birthday, she sent me a short email. I won't relay it here, but it was something to the effect of, we were both hurt and she would like to talk, but understands if I don't want to. I honestly have no idea what I want to do in this situation. Back in January I chose to not respond to her email because it was so full of holes and things that were outright not true that I didn't think I needed to justify myself or my actions at all. She was the one who acted wrongly and that was that. However, I think we have both had enough time where we could possibly talk things over without getting very upset at one another, but I am not sure I see a friendship again. This is really hard for me, harder than most people know. People often see me make jokes about the situation and I know I do a lot, but losing your best friend not once, but twice, takes its toll. I do miss her and I miss the friendship we had, but I simply do not know if I can trust her again. Over and over, her ex and Adam told me they would not make me chose between them or her, but she would. I didn't believe them, and they even went so far as to say if I had to stay away from them for a while until she calmed down, it was fine because they would always be there for me when I came back to them. Still I didn't listen because I thought true friends would never make me choose, so I tried to stay neutral. I want to believe that things will be different this time around, but her ex and I are good friends - nothing more. He has been like a brother to me, especially with Adam leaving. He has a girlfriend, one who is clearly not me, and it is not even as though I talk to him every single day of the week. I think it would be a good idea for me to at least respond to her email, because there are some things that need to be cleared up and even if this is the last time we ever speak to one another, at least it will be on somewhat good terms and not the yelling that happened on my birthday. I guess at this point, just having closure on the whole situation would be nice, and probably a lot more healthy too. I am not looking for us to be the "bestest of the bestest buds" again, because realistically I don't think it is even possible. But having something that would signify an end would be nice and I would feel better about letting the whole thing go - something which I think I have done for the most part, but I think by just letting her email sit there and me not respond to it, then things are still lingering and I do not want that. I don't know what I want really, I just want everyone to be happy for once, because someone is always pissed ay someone and it's getting to the point where I want to just say enough is enough, everyone shut up and lets just start over. Ah well, we'll just have to see what happens...
Most of you know who I am talking about and we will leave it at that in terms of her identity just for the sake of being nice. Last fall when she and her boyfriend of nearly four years broke up, our friendship hit a wall, in a roundabout way because of the break-up (silly me for thinking I could be friends with everyone). Then in December when she found out Adam was leaving for Iraq, she struck up conversation again and was there for me when I was dealing with it - for a while.
On my birthday shit hit the fan again when her ex-boyfriend, who is a good friend of mine, was at my birthday and she was there as well. She said some incredibly nasty things and stormed out and I never had a chance to say one word. She knew prior to the event that he would be there, and I even asked that she go to dinner with me one night and he go to the bars another night. That way I could spend time with both of them and not having to worry about a fight starting. This was apparently unreasonable to her and she said fine, she would not come to either. At this point I didn't know what to say and simply told her if she chose to come, I did not want any drama, as I am trying to remain neutral and be friends with both parties. Obviously this did not work out, as we have not spoken since she left my birthday party. That night she sent me a not-so-nice email basically outlining why I was an awful friend, and went so far as to accuse me of having ulterior motives for being friends with her ex. This was very hurtful, considering she was my first college friend ever and one I considered to be among the best of the best friends I have ever had.
Here's the kicker: today, her birthday, she sent me a short email. I won't relay it here, but it was something to the effect of, we were both hurt and she would like to talk, but understands if I don't want to. I honestly have no idea what I want to do in this situation. Back in January I chose to not respond to her email because it was so full of holes and things that were outright not true that I didn't think I needed to justify myself or my actions at all. She was the one who acted wrongly and that was that. However, I think we have both had enough time where we could possibly talk things over without getting very upset at one another, but I am not sure I see a friendship again. This is really hard for me, harder than most people know. People often see me make jokes about the situation and I know I do a lot, but losing your best friend not once, but twice, takes its toll. I do miss her and I miss the friendship we had, but I simply do not know if I can trust her again. Over and over, her ex and Adam told me they would not make me chose between them or her, but she would. I didn't believe them, and they even went so far as to say if I had to stay away from them for a while until she calmed down, it was fine because they would always be there for me when I came back to them. Still I didn't listen because I thought true friends would never make me choose, so I tried to stay neutral. I want to believe that things will be different this time around, but her ex and I are good friends - nothing more. He has been like a brother to me, especially with Adam leaving. He has a girlfriend, one who is clearly not me, and it is not even as though I talk to him every single day of the week. I think it would be a good idea for me to at least respond to her email, because there are some things that need to be cleared up and even if this is the last time we ever speak to one another, at least it will be on somewhat good terms and not the yelling that happened on my birthday. I guess at this point, just having closure on the whole situation would be nice, and probably a lot more healthy too. I am not looking for us to be the "bestest of the bestest buds" again, because realistically I don't think it is even possible. But having something that would signify an end would be nice and I would feel better about letting the whole thing go - something which I think I have done for the most part, but I think by just letting her email sit there and me not respond to it, then things are still lingering and I do not want that. I don't know what I want really, I just want everyone to be happy for once, because someone is always pissed ay someone and it's getting to the point where I want to just say enough is enough, everyone shut up and lets just start over. Ah well, we'll just have to see what happens...
Sunday, April 24, 2005
Love Is Not Real
So this will be pretty short because it is late and I am tired. I have loved exactly one person in my entire life (outside my family I mean). Anyone with half a brain knows that the person I am talking about is Adam. That love has changed now after many months of being ex, and it's no longer the love of being in love, but the love of a friend. The other person in my life who I thought I might have loved at one time, turns out it was nothing even remotely close. He never deserved it, nor did he deserve anything I ever gave him, and I think also anyone with half a brain knows what I am talking about in this case as well. I told him tonight that we can't even be friends, and while I feel like I ripped my own heart out by saying that, I also know I am better off because I am saying it. Teetz says this person I speak of loves me but is too dumb to even know it, and that I did the right thing. If I did the right thing, why do I feel like I would rather die than be without him in my life then?
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